You’ve probably all heard of Speed Dating but you probably haven’t heard of ‘Eye Gazing’ speed dating…

Here’s how it works according to the official site …

“An even number of singles gets together in an attractive space. After a fun mini-lesson in the art of eye contact, the group splits into pairs, and each pair spends two minutes looking at each other’s eyes, no talking, with inviting beats in the background. The pairs switch up every two minutes, for a total of forty-five minutes. Then there’s a party afterward, with drinks flowing and luscious beats vibing. You can talk with everyone you met gazing to get to know each other even better and exchange information with potential dates. The eye gazing has an electrifying effect on the party. Simply put, two minutes of eye contact is the Cadillac of ice-breakers.”

This one is being filmed for the ledge that is Lorraine Kelly and her new ITV breakfast show.  I decide to check it out and pop along as it would be a fantastic opportunity to practice telegraphing sexual intent through eye contact which is a big TNL principle.

As I arrive, to my surprise one of my future students Antonio is there!  We laugh and remind ourselves how it was meant to be that we worked with each other.

Gazing partner #1 

After much faffing around from the camera crew, we kick off the eye gazing and  first up for me is a girl who looks just like the exciteable geek from Grease only larger and less attractive.

She can barely make any eye contact with me, and is gulping nervously. I now start to feel nervous and it is one of the most painful 2 mins of my life.

Gazing partner #2 Jodie
Next up is Jodie – the ‘bubbly presenter’. (ie fat gobby northern lass)

I decide to sit there and penetrate my gaze and telegraph sexual intent.  She too starts cracking under the pressure, contorting her face and raising her eyebrows.  At one point she looks as though shes going to cry!  I hold my gaze with a Poker face until the 2 mins ends.  It looked as though she really found it difficult poor girl.

Gazing partner #3 Lori

Lori is the co-organiser of the event and I’m expecting she’s a dab hand at this.  I blast the sexual intent at her and pretty soon, she is pulling silly faces too and looking away whenever she hears so much as a pin drop.  Its definitely more comfortable then the others though.

Gazing partner #4 Neus

Next up is Neus the Italian girl, who has the frame of an olympic shotputter, with surprisingly no make up on whatsoever, despite knowing she’ll be on TV.  The first minute I decide to soften my eyes and look at her peripherally something which I do to make eye contact less confrontational.  She seems quite comfortable with this. Then for the 2nd minute i focus on her right eye and pump loads of sexual intent.  She starts to buckle and looks petrified.

Gazing partner #5

Last up is a blonde haired Estonian woman who is the only half decent bit of eye candy there.  She holds my gaze perfectly without any flinching.  So I begin to triangular gaze from one eye to the other, then to her mouth and back again.  I imagine her screaming with orgasms as I pump the sexual intent in.  She remains poker faced throughout and It gives me a semi.

When we finish we go back to each person and see what they thought of us from just gazing.  Most of the girls forget to write anything except for Patty simcox at the beginning who says to me that she think i’m new to this because i wasnt able to mirror her very well!  PAH!

The show goes out on ITV two days later and I feel like a mini celebrity for the day

Watch the Eye Gazing video!

Hey guys. Hope you all liked the Melbourne Cup Infield Pickup Video I recently released with James Marshall.

Here is a full video from start to finish of me chatting up a charming lady with a dark sense of humor.

You’ll notice my voice and body language is very relaxed, and I avoid standard topics like where she works, lives, went to school, or studies.

Instead I take the conversation in a much more risky but much more playful direction, getting us straight into some dark humor. As I say in the video, “I put the [genocide] thing out there to see what she’d say.”

I liked the fact that she can tell I’m joking, and is willing to play along and be spontaneous.

I’m also not afraid to touch her: I lift her up confidently, which allows us to create a good physical connection. You’ll notice I ask ‘can I pick you up’ at 2.58, and gauge her reaction before actually doing it. She asks ‘really?’ she doesn’t say no, and I can feel from the way she leans into my arms that she is comfortable being picked up. I’m not just blindly picking her up, I’m easing into it and feeling out her reaction to make sure she’s comfortable while still confidently leading.

The other thing I like about this pickup is how I’m not trying to win her over, and how we’re both seducing each other. By allowing her to play along and be part of the seduction, it builds our interpersonal connection from the start. Some seducers like to play games and pretend to be something they’re not. You see in this video that being honest, direct and playful is much more effective and allows her to meet the real me.

The flow on effect from this is that she feels comfortable showing her real self to me. She can feel that I don’t have a wall up and it means she doesn’t have to put a wall up either.

I used to have a massive wall up around women, a social mask that stopped us connecting. It was a front, my way to protect myself. The women who met me then could feel it. There was no way they were going to open up to me when I was closed off myself. Dropping that front has made the whole seduction process so much easier and makes me feel so much more relaxed.

I loved the cute ending; her writing me a note on a scrap of paper really rounded off the interaction for me (as well as giving me a great pocket square.)

Here is a live 1-1 coaching session with a client, where I talk about how to improve his dates, create more sexual tension, and understanding the principles of conversation and flirting.

I hope your 2012 has launched and has you well on the way into bed with two leggy bombshells when the shit goes down December 23rd. TNL is set for an amazing year with shit loads of international adventure, the release of some cutting edge services and heaps of crazy videos and antics for the fans.

Here’s a new clip we just finished from a big day of day game pickup at the Melbourne Cup races.

I’ve always said daytime events with dress ups and alcohol are perfect places to blaze through heaps of generally warm sets. When girls are dressed up, they can flirt and play different roles than they might normally. It also brings out all sorts of types of girls. From this clip, we see aloof models, good time aussie bogans, corportae chicks and more in the one environment.

We dress up; me in a tailored suit and Liam in my old Velveteen 3 piece I had made in Vietnam for 70 bucks. In a place where the average guy is in a cheap hire suit and is stumbling drunkenly by 3pm, having some style and blitzes the competition.

Most of all, we have fun with it. We assume the girls will be friendly and are playful and relaxed. Liam gets away with some cheeky escalation which is hilarious to watch. Enjoy and feel free to meme spread the clip if ya like it!

Peace,

James

Last week I was in Sydney coaching a student, and he approached a sexy blonde girl at Bondi strip and playfully asked her to marry him.

(Google+”blonde bondi”)=

“Uhh, I can’t get married!” she muttered, and scurried off into a nearby shop.

He came back a bit dejected, told me what happened and said “Was that a shit test?”

(A ‘shit test’ is the idea that women will say things to test you to see how you respond, such as “I’m a lesbian” or “Will you buy me a drink?” )

I said to him “Are you fucking crazy? You seriously think that in the few seconds of that interaction, she had time to think-

‘Hmm, ok I’m not sure on this guy, I need to create a test for him to pass…I’ll tell him that I can’t get married and see how he responds to that!’

-No way! She was just nervous and didn’t know what was going on so she took the path of least resistance. Go approach her again and let her know you were just kidding, let her know you’re not crazy and get her number.”

He walked up to her, apologized for giving her a shock and explained he just wanted to talk to her. She relaxed and smiled, and they chatted for a few minutes before she gave him her number. What a turn around!

I was being harsh on him to get the message across and show him how blindly he was following a seduction rule, but I totally understood his mindset. I had been there myself for a long time. When I first heard about the idea of a shit-test, it blew my mind, and I started assuming that everything that a woman said from then on was a test. A concept that was supposed to show you that sometimes women will throw a conscious test your way to see how you respond morphed into a paranoia that everything that came out of a woman’s mouth was a test.

Part of the problem with this mindset is assuming that women are constantly cool, calm, collected and calculating about everything they do in social and seductive interactions. It creates a reality where they have no emotions, insecurities, or social tensions, and doesn’t account for these things affecting their behavior. Overanalyzing her actions and seeing them through this funnel blinds you to the reality that she is just another human like anyone! Taking this into account makes you realize that what you see as her ‘testing’ you might just be her being nervous. In specific situation of a bar it might be more prevalent, but generalizing it to all female behavior is a flawed mindset that makes them seem like robots.

Think of it from her point of view. She’s walking down the street, and suddenly an attractive guy surprises her out of nowhere with a confronting proposal. She was minding her own business thinking about what shop she’s going to, and suddenly she’s thrust into a flirtatious encounter that she wasn’t prepared for. She is a bit shocked, nervous, and unsure what how to respond, so she does the easiest thing: she ends the interaction to escape the awkward tension.

It doesn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to you. She’s probably kicking herself as she walks off, thinking “Damn! It’s hard enough being single, I’m sick of sleazy bars and online dating, and then as soon as a hot guy approaches me, I get nervous and brush him off. I’ll be single forever!”

I’ve had a friend do this: she was sitting at a café with her friends when a cute guy approached her and asked for her number. She got nervous and blurted out “I have a boyfriend!” After he left, her friends all looked at her quizzically. “Um, Bianca…you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I know! Why did I say that?! Damn, I just got nervous and didn’t know what to say! He was really sweet and cute and now I’ll never see him again…”

Her friend got up and ran after him, catching up with him 2 blocks away and said “Sorry about my friend she was just overwhelmed. Here is her number, call her!”

So the message is that while there may be certain scenarios when a girl will be consciously testing you, most of the time it’s not true. Assuming that women are constantly testing you puts the wrong spin on every interaction and gives you a warped perspective on their headspace. It makes you stuck in your head trying to ‘beat’ tests that only exist in your mind, instead of being in the moment and feeling her energy as the interaction flows. Most of the time, what you think of as a test is just her being nervous. She’s probably scared that you’re testing her! Focus more on getting her to relax and be comfortable around you.

Otherwise they feel like they have to study for a test too….

I’m not saying girls wont test you in certain situations… I’m saying that I’ve seen too many guys applying a rule that’s created about a specific situation to every single interaction they have with a woman.

It creates a paranoid headspace where you’re trying to beat tests that aren’t even there. A better mindset is ‘she is nervous that she’s talking to a hot guy, she can feel the sexual tension and she is trying to impress me.’

This is an interview I filmed with Carl, one of the students on last year’s Euro Tour on the last day in Croatia. Carl is a successful business man in his late 30′s, a really great guy with a fascinating life and varied interests. But he had perpetual problems with women and his internal confidence. He had many layers of defensive masks on and came across as ingenuine with women.

It was incredible to watch him change over the trip as he let go of the eager to please behaviours he had all his life and showed is unapologetic desire to women, who opened up with enthusiasm. An absolute pleasure to teach, Carl has some insightful words on his journey and success.

This Year’s Euro Tour, set for late May is already getting heaps of interest and I expect to sell it out soon after I publicly release it. In the mean time, check out all the info at www.theeurotour.com

Anyone interested in finding out more about how to join myself Sasha Daygame, John Cooper and a bunch of awesome guys for the trip of a lifetime, can express their interest on the Euro Tour website.

We’ve got plenty more clips from last year’s trip in the works so stay tuned for some juicy teasers..

There’s a lot of talk about inner game within the PUA community. Guys want to know how to be more confident and charismatic with women.  Then when you see them walking about town and interacting amongst fellow humans there is this dissassociation – like passing ships in the night.  I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine is the mentality OR I’ll wait until im in the bar or social environment before I turn on the charm and charisma.  I even hear guys say to me, “Why are you wasting your time talking to her man, she’s ugly”.  We are all guilty of being swept up in this illusion. You can either be one of these sheep, and a slave to the system or break free and start BEING the person you want to be, which means being like that with everyone.

Giving Unconditionally

Just as the video demonstrates, when you go into an interaction, you must think of your role as being one of giving unconditionally, not taking. If you can give with no expectation of reciprocity, that’s unconditional, and that is how it must be.  You have to clear your motives, foster a karmic attitide of “c’est la vie,” and give from a place of overflow. In other words, if we are a tree, we give from the fruits, not the seeds.

Law of attraction

We are constantly expressing an energetic vibrational version of ourselves all the time in the form of ‘vibes’. We often say things like “He or she has got a really good vibe about them”. These are magnetic vibrations creating our reality all the time. The fear and stress of society works against us, and we absorb that. We then give off the low vibrational state and we attract stressful, fearful states and energies towards us. If we hold onto anger then angry people come into our lives. If we play the victim role, the victim vibe goes out and the victim circumstance comes in. We attract to us people, places, opportunities, lack of opportunities, money, no money,  luck, bad luck, by our state of being – WE create it.  When we emit love , we create a very new reality  and we draw in a reflection of that. It’s just a choice.

Homework

Go out this week and each day show 10 random acts of kindness to strangers.  If you really understand what this is about, you will move from it being a one off exercise, to a way of being and that is when the true inner game alchemy begins.

I’m getting through the mass of footage we’ve taken this year and the crew is cutting up some rad clips for your pleasure. Here’s a set I did when in L.A for the PUA Summit. There’s a few things to look out for during this interaction.

The opener is assumptive and direct. I’m assuming she’s fascinating and showing her she’s fascinated me to come over. I also split the opener to allow for her first reaction while I lock in.

Then I ask a broad qualifying question. From there the conversation opens up and we fall into steady cheeky banter. My direct intent is shown through simple flirtation. I mention picking her up, starting a romance and although she verbally denies it, it’s clear she’s enjoying the process. It comes out she’s in a failing marriage but the subtext of a future invitation to pursue things is clear.

Enjoy.

This is a report ‘lazyboyy’ wrote on http://www.melbournelair.com/forum/index.php?topic=1199.0

It was after doing my Day of Mayhem workshop, which is just a daygame version of Night of Mayhem.

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This all happened as part of Liam’s social freedom coaching, which was thoroughly amazing.

Liam was getting us to just walk up to girls with messages typed on our phones. Mine said “hey your cute, wanna be my girlfriend”. So this brunette with gorgeous blue eyes walks past and Liam directs me to approach her, I show her the message with my phone outstretched she looks at it and seems startled.  Ordinarily I probably would’ve left it at that but due to the positive energy that was flowing through the session I struck up a conversation, starting with something direct (can’t remember exactly what I said).

Something along the lines of I thought she was gorgeous and wanted to meet her so I quickly typed that message. She called me out and was rather skeptical – which led me to believe she was interested I just had to justify that she was special – and could see Liam and the other 2 guys and cottoned on to the whole caper. I told her it was about social freedom and that I do a bit of acting and it’s a good exercise for that.

After finding out she was from Lithuania the convo turned to travel and I bantered with her about Europe and South America where I’ve been, where I’m going ecetera, with a cocky funny vibe, and I suppose some sexual intent too.

At one point she said “you just want to sleep with me” to which I replied “Yes I will sleep with you, then we will get married have 2 kids, but 2 years later we will get divorced.  You can keep the kids, I’ll get the mansion in Toorak and you can keep the BMW. But then when we’re 50 we’ll meet up and our love will rekindle, we will remarry and live happily ever after…like Romeo and Juliet” All while gazing into her eyes lovingly. She replied that she has a roommate called Juliet. Anyway.. Got her number buy taking her phone and calling myself then elicited a juicy big extended hug.
After my session with Liam finished I texted her and it went as follows (sorry if the formatting is messy but you get the idea):

Me:Hey what are you doing? Lazyboy
Her: I went back home to change, cause I have work 5.30 for few hours. You? Still looking for girls  :p
Me:I only look for girls between 2-4pm so lucky u were walking then . Aww that sux how long do u have to work for.

Her: you think im lucky? Haha. Mm for few hours only. Hopefully finish before 9 :p why
Me: You’re lucky coz you have an amazing guy to hang out with after work and u may even get a nice massage to make u feel relaxed and wonderful.

Her: mm, sounds promising

Me: How about I come to your place with a bottle of wine at 9.30. Do you prefer red or white?

Her: You cant I live in hostel … but I do like white

Me: White is my favourite too. Ok how about I pick you up at 9.30 I don’t live that far from the city and we can enjoy our white wine and ill look after that tension in your back.
Her: Is that a competition between u and ur friends who’s gonna sleep with more girls? Mm even though I liked your eyes so what should I do?! Lol
Me: How did u guess?? If I win I get $1 million dollars and u get multiple orgasms. Great now I can’t stop thinking about our naked bodies together..even tho I have is that amazing hug we shared

Her: Oh really? I’m going to work now…blah blah
Me :Ok have fun at work, whatever you do don’t think about me kissing your neck.

Her: What If I do think about you kissing my neck? Lol oh well see u later.

Ect. Ect.

So anyway I pick up a bottle of Pinot Grigio, pick her up at 10. Take her to Brighton beach to show her a nice view of the city. Take her to mine. We drink wine and show each other music we like on Youtube. Finish the bottle. Chat about how cool it was that we met, and how we could’ve easily missed each other…feels like we’ve known each other for ages ect. Then we spend the next few hours engaging in intercourse. Go out for breakfast, drop her off back in the city. And seeing her again on Wednesday.

Thanks for reading!

lazyboyy

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This report is great because it shows how being direct with your intention and being confident in your sexuality pays off. It also shows that you can be flexible with how you meet and seduce women and don’t have to stick too closely to any particular style. In this case he was able to open a girl without talking at first and still lead to sex that night.