Get a date, not a number.

When a guy is trying to pick up a woman the usual tradition is to “go for the number”. His aim is usually to get the number and then set up the date sometime in the near future. This sometimes provides a lot of stress for the person getting the number and the person giving it out. Questions run through the head such as “should i wait three days, what if they call tomorrow, does that mean they’re desperate, but i really like them, I hope they’re not desperate, but I do want them to call tomorrow because I like them, argh!”

The other problem with numbers is that they can be flakey. By flakey meaning they may not eventuate into anything due to circumstances in between the getting of the number and the call/text to set up the date.

All this can simply be avoided by changing the way you get the number. By going for a date (or event, i personally am not a huge fan of asking for dates) you can skip a lot of the ambiguity and nonsense of how long to wait, where to go, what they like, who’s area to go to etc…

I teach this in my Approach Energy classes as a simple three step process after you’ve developed a bit of rapport with a person.

1. Ask a qualifying question “hey do you know degraves/brunswick st?”
2. Wait for their answer, if no go to 3. If yes go to 4.
3. Say something along the lines of “really? It’s a great place I’m going to have to take you there, put your number in”
4. Say “awesome, we’re goin to have coffee there next week, put your number in” if they ask “why” you say “because I’d like to get to know you a bit better” because that’s the truth, and the truth is one of the best ways to create a genuine connection with somebody.

You can then tell them when you’re going to call/text to confirm the meeting, make a joke or two, or even save yourself in their phone or them in yours with a witty nickname.

In step 1 can change the street name for a cultural event such as an exhibition, a festival, or a nice restaraunt, bar, or even a movie!

I personally recommend everybody have three events each week they’d want to invite a new potential friend/lover to, so that if they suddenly find themself in conversation wanting to see the person again, they can get a date, not a number.

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