I’ve been watching the seduction community closely for some time now and have noted that the majority of men who enter it are not getting the results they are after (The Natural Lifestyles was born in response to this, as we aimed to build a system that worked at core level change). In fact, after an initial period of optimism and small advances, many community guys become demoralised and bitter, spending more time bickering amongst themselves than getting out in the field. Lots of guys are getting bogged down in theory and become frustrated when things that seem like they should work, don’t for them. Lines that are purported to be “unbreakable” and methods that guarantee “100% strike rates” dominate the market and still most guys find the material bombing when they try it. Of course this is incredibly demoralising, because if the methods of the “best PUAs” don’t work for you, what hope is there? What’s going on? Why are so many people failing at this?

My personal opinion is that guys are trying to substitute the effort and difficult self-appraisal of personal development with “Game”. They have grossly unrealistic expectations for the amount of change they are willing to make in their lives. this is being fed by outrageous marketing claims by many seduction companies 

When we sit down with our clients initially, we get them to verbalise to themselves exactly what they want to achieve and why. If they are a 40 year old man, wanting to pick up 19 year old club tarts, I have to ask them why? Is that what they really want, is that a healthy goal or are they trying to live out some revenge fantasy for a golden age they feel they missed? If they want multiple girlfriends but have no desire to build an extended social network, we owe it to them to burst their bubble of delusion. 

We had a client a while back; short, unattractive, never had a girlfriend, been using scripted pick up material for a year and to be perfectly honest pretty boring and self-absorbed. I’m not being cruel but this is not a great mix for attracting women. I asked him what type of girls he was interested in and his startling reply was: “I’m pretty fussy really…mostly into super models.”
Now it’s one thing to set yourself challenging goals but there needs to be a realistic process put in place to achieve them. It is worrying to see the seduction community breeding men with an inflated sense of entitlement and arrogance, without the goods to back it up. I had to ask him:
“What do you have to offer a super model?” “Why would she want to be with you?”
 

Because you have mad game? Because you can stack routines higher than the tower of Babel? That’s not enough. Not nearly enough. There are plenty of male models, photographers, managers, dealers, rockers and rakish playboys with good game and much more to snatch those super models back where they belong. Game is not enough.

I once ignorantly asked a thick skinned homely female friend of mine, “why it was that ugly people seemed to always end up together? Are they attracted to each other?” She replied “No, not really. You are just forced to lower your standards.” Why is it that beautiful and successful people mostly end up together? Cruel and unfair as that may be, that is the natural order of things. We get the partner we “deserve”. We all try to secure the best mate we can and as a default that is usually determined by looks/seductive charm for women and looks+prestige/power for men. What a guy who is not genetically or otherwise gifted is trying to do by learning seduction is to disrupt the “natural” order. He wants to elevate himself above his station. He wants to say “fuck you” to evolution, arbitrary social or aesthetic hierachies and clamber out of obscurity, leaving the mediocre women and life he was handed behind, while he poaches one of the rare and fiercely competed over beautiful women.

We all know this is possible but the point I want to make is; if you want to balance the odds, you are going to need much more backing you than the lucky bastard that was born with it. Men have been doing this since the dawn of history. By becoming soldiers, artists, pirates, musicians, businessmen, explorers and philosophers. In this way, runts and misfits tipped the scales by developing their other talents, charms and empires. They had to be twice as cunning, bold or resourceful as the “Alpha” males. They learnt to seduce through mastering their craft and themselves and thus become the men that rare women wanted.

Here is a basic equation to think about. I was never one for maths so this is a stretch for me.

*Something + no game = The median success that your something is valued at. (e.g fairly attractive and successful guy will usually eventually hook up with similar female through social circle and bumbling courtship)

Game + nothing = masturbation

Game + something* = Sex with hot women

*fascinating personality, confidence, artistic passion, humour, good looks, prestigious/passionate job, fame, cash, presence, social intuition, emotional intelligence etc..

What about Style? (Neil Strauss) He’s short, bald and funny looking? He had no game and then got some and then fucked everyone and got a rock star girlfriend right? True (if you believe the hype.. do some research and you’ll find that aspects of “the Game” are exaggerated and misleading) but he had lots of other things going for him as well. He’s a successful writer, well educated and well connected. He had no game and his looks did him no favours but once he added game to the mix he tipped the scales. Same with most of the guys that are really good at the top. They are passionate about something other than pickup. They have rich social lives and look deeply into themselves to strive to improve.

True there are some gurus and many PUAs around the world to whom game becomes the means and the end. It is possible to bamboozle chicks into bed using emotional manipulation whilst fundamentally having no faith in yourself (because you know at a deep level you have nothing to offer these women past the effect of those techniques). This will be unlikely to produce consistent results unless you are a really good actor and can handle the cognitive disonnance created when living a lie. Even then, you cannot keep a beautiful woman with high self esteem in your life with only this. If she doesn’t see through you straight away (which she probably will), she will soon after. If you really want super models then cool, go for it. But don’t fool yourself, or let people trying to sell you ebooks fool you either. If you don’t have the socially valued currency to “purchase” these girls then you are going to need to get it, or build your own powerful reality that uses a different currency.
 

I’ll be covering this concept in much greater detail as I introduce the Seductive Economy framework in future posts.

The basic truth is that we can’t all have perfect 10’s. We can’t all have threesomes with strippers and date models or porn stars. I don’t think we all need to, or really want to. As glamorous as it may seem to have 5 hot girls on the go at once, trust me this lifestyle contains a whole host of new challenges and stresses. Most men don’t want or can’t cope with the lifestyle choices, uncertainty, extreme highs and lows of this type of situation. What most of my clients really want is the choice and ability to have the women they prefer in their life. This is a healthy and achievable goal. It is not easy though. It requires you to be brutally honest with yourself to admit your shortcomings and challenges and to have the faith and resilience to build yourself up from this point into the man you want to be. If you are unwilling to make these fundamental changes, it is highly unlikely that your will see any real success with women. If however you are willing to build both your external reality (career, passions, social skills, resources, networks) and internal qualities (confidence, autonomy, passion, empathy, self belief, emotional balance, philosophy etc); so to, the quality of partner you are able to attract, inspire and have walk beside you in life will rise well beyond what you once thought was possible.

James.

Introducing The Natural Lifestyles

In the last four years I have learned much more than the 27 years before it.

So much about life, business, coaching, leadership, compassion, men and women, love, commitment and spiritual growth. I owe a lot of this to the many crazy, beautiful and wise men and women that crossed my path in that time. This new company is the culmination of those  intense years of self discovery and helping my clients discover themselves. I know now that being a great seducer is about so much more than getting women to take off their clothes (although that is still a wonderful part of it). It is about creating a passionate, internally validated life and a lifestyle whereby success with women is simply a natural side effect of everything else you are doing.  This new company is built on everything The Natural developed but my vision is to push it much further into a truly comprehensive institute for personal change, offering the world’s best coaching on all aspects of relationships, communication, lifestyle design and sustainable success. I have taken all the hard lessons, mistakes, experiments and triumphs and cut away anything that was not in line with our new vision, to get to the true core of what works. With my team, I have honed all our services to provide the best, most personalized, results orientated programs on the market. No magic bullets, no quick fixes but real, genuine lasting change designed for those who are unwilling to except anything less.

With me I am honored to have the continued support and abilities of the finest coaches and friends I have ever known. Jess continues to do wonders in her conversation, touch and flirtation training as well as whipping even the most fashion reluctant client into pure sex on legs; Shae continues to provide the bedrock of internal change and spiritual guidance, Tim keeps the energy high showing anyone who thinks it isn’t possible what truly is, with his seduction improv course Approach Energy and through infield coaching with TNL . Zanna brings his thoughtful depth and devilish charm to the mix, showing that the strong silent type will usually prevail over the brash and brittle. Add to this a list of up and coming super star trainers such as Liam, Bec & Damien and you have the new Natural Lifestyles team. 

In the coming months we are set to release our first range of world class interactive products, The Masterclass is in it’s 6^th revised edition continuing to pump out more groups of unstoppable casanova’s, Tim, Zanna and I will be hitting the road for The Euro tour (sold out, sorry!) and then onto America for a speaking tour and finishing up at the PUA summit in Hollywood. Stay tuned for lots of news, videos and articles from our adventures.

There you have it, the back story to a new dynamic company that is set to continue helping brave and driven men to become the very best they can be and live the lifestyle that others only dream of.

Until next time, keep it Natural.

James

Before we get into articles on our specialized areas, I’d like to tell you more about who we are and how it was that a bunch of broke maverick larrikins from Melbourne came to dominate the Australian seduction scene and take their cheeky innovative methods to the world. And so I present..

A brief history of The Naturals

Four years ago almost to the day, two men met in E55 on Elizabeth St, Melbourne, Australia on a Tuesday afternoon. One very young man swept into the empty bar, looking like a Latino gunfighter; head to toe in perfect fitting black, Cuban heels clicking assertively, carrying a leather briefcase, shiny belt buckle twinkling in the grungy lamp lit light. The other not as young man was where he had been for the last hour and a half, sipping green tea on the couch reading “Journey to the End of the night”, wearing a well worn afghan coat (that once saved his life on a Himalayan bus trip) and old Chinese Kung Fu shoes.

They shook hands and sat down to talk. Little did either of them realize that from that first meeting of two men from different planets would spring a company and a social revolution that would forever change not only theirs but hundreds of men and women’s lives forever. All those two men knew that day was that they were both passionate visionaries, determined to engineer their own fate and that despite their glaring differences they could learn from each other and maybe make a buck along the way.

And so, “The Natural” was born. James Marshall the bohemian musician Kung Fu enthusiast and Grant Wellington the latin dancing fashionista agreed to start coaching men in a new and nebulus form of seduction: Natural Game..

How hard could it be? They both knew a lot about getting hot girls into bed, used no formal structure and were damn charming (although James definitely needed some wardrobe advice). So, they grabbed James’s then girlfriend Jess Daly to help out in workshops and enlisted a toothy grinned Nepalese friend Suman to build a website and went into business (Suman would constantly berate the duo to document their adventures on a company blog but as they were both too distracted with living their dreams, rather than writing about them the stories went untold, until now..).

They found out very quickly that there was a lot more to this game than first met the eye. How to teach someone what they did by instinct? How to adjust it to guys from very different backgrounds than their own? How to work out on a napkin how much Suman gets paid? How to stop Jess storming out in disgust when Grant demonstrated a pelvic hip thrust R’n’B super club lock in?

The two founders went on a very sharp learning curve as they learnt on the fly how to run a business and coach men on the most important set of skills they would ever learn- how to find and court the right women to explore their sexuality with and maybe someday fall in love, marry and even make babies with.

They also discovered that what started out as a way to get paid to pick up girls, was actually a doorway for their own personal transformation and was having much more profound effects on clients than they had ever imagined possible. Not only were their clients getting laid, they were improving their social networks, advancing their careers, dealing with long standing insecurities, walking tall and loving life for often the first time. What is second nature to them now, was a startling surprise to Grant and James then; that using an authentic, bold and powerfully honest form of seduction would lead men to question and seek deeply into improving every aspect of their lives.

Along the way there were many comic disasters, as media shredded the fledgling company, our heroes turned to seducing rich girls to supplement their beans and tuna diet, Jess stormed out for the last time (only to return a year later when James begged her to help out on one last workshop. She was so impressed with the change in the company that she decided to stay and has been an invaluable female voice and incredible coach ever since).

Soon however, they began to form a coherent, replicatable system for delivering truly awe inspiring results. One that was custom built for every client and relied on empowering them to release their potential rather than teaching them to wear masks.  Realizing that this rabbit hole was deeper than they imagined, James called on an old friend who had been in hermitage for many years, studying a dizzying array of esoteric healing and self transformation arts. Shae Mathews moved cities and into the notorious Clarke St house where Grant and James lived. He brought an unmatched depth and spiritual scope to the workshops, helping men to clear their internal limitations and replace them with razor sharp will and explosive power.

Next they head hunted Tim Stubbs from Pickup 101, offering him a handsome pay cut and a place in the garage in exchange for the secrets of seducing more coquettish arty girls and super club glams than he could handle (actually he handles them very well). Also joining them was the mysterious dark horse Zanna, who’s subtle yet deadly seduction skills were the stuff of local legend; as well as a crew of passionate interns and guest specialists.
Together they were The Naturals and the world’s most eclectic and formidable seduction super group was formed.

At this point James was juggling 5 very demanding strong willed women and had a seducers existential crisis and went off to China, were he modeled for a wedding company.

He then travelled to Ukraine to find his roots. There he found his long lost alcoholic peasant family who gave him a pickle jar full of home made vodka every morning for breakfast. Escaping his aunty Katya he went to Odessa were his seduction skills were decimated by a catwalkmodel/magazine editor/Trance DJ/Voodoo priestess called Olya. Luckily she decided to seduce James and they fell madly in love chasing each other around exotic eastern bloc countries until James had to return home.

When he walked back in the door of Clarke St he nearly choked in disbelief. There was Grant in James’s underwear (that was normal, he was wearing Grant’s) burning eggs and serving them to an elegant Scottish beauty in a towel on the couch. A WOMAN! HERE FOR BREAKFAST! And so to Grant had been hit by cupids arrow and moved from merciless club hunter to devoted boyfriend. Was this the end of our hero’s seductive adventures? Oh no, it was yet another wacky beginning. With two of the most stunning and fiery women on the planet by their sides, The Natural boys finally began to focus on their true task, making this company the very best of its kind in the world. Alas, Grant’s girl’s visa ended and with heart break all round had to leave back to Scotland. Grant, ran a final workshop and rushed over to be with her with a few pounds in his pocket. There he set up The Natural in London which rocketed to success.

Driven by his mad passion, James concocted a wild scheme to get back to Europe, successfully building and selling the world’s first ever traveling seduction tour- the now infamous Euro Tour. He and Grant met in Prague and led 4 brave students on the wildest ride of any of their lives through exotic eastern block countries in search of the hottest women in the world (which weren’t hard to find, go to Budapest and Bratislava at least once in your life please!).

James then caught an old soviet train across the continent where he proposed to Olya on the steps of the Odessa opera house, where they had met a year before. She moved to Australia 5 months later and they were married 6 months after that. *sigh*

Back in Oz, the Natural crew realized things were getting too big for Clarke St. Every Sunday they packed in 25 people for roast and veggies; new girlfriends, traveling Pick up artists, musicians, shamans, strippers and IT wiz kids. They decided they needed a mansion and put Shae on the case. He returned from his cave the next morning with a knowing smile and when asked what he’d done just replied. “Just asked for the right thing in the right way.”

Four weeks later the whole family moved into a three story, fully renovated inner city warehouse. Exactly how that happened is another story for the book(Coming soon to a self help section near you!). Settling into the new Natural headquarters, the boys and girls set to work on their most ambitious project yet.

Having watched clients exploding with results on weekend workshops, they were dismayed to see that many of them soon slipped back into old habits. They realized that in most cases it was unrealistic to expect complete change in a weekend and saw a gaping hole in the market that needed a longer term and more carefully supported approach. So the crew poured all their collective knowledge into another world first- The 12 week Natural Masterclass, covering everything that helped build successful and attractive men, they innovated classes on everything from; conversation, dating, physical escalation posture, social networking, massage, tantra, meditation, NLP through to style, health and lifestyle. The class sold out and was an incredible success. The next one was finetuned with even better results. Clients finished the course completely transformed, they were Naturals. The new worldwide benchmark for holistic seduction and complete lifestyle change had been set.

By this time on either sides of the globe James and Grant had led their teams to increasingly better coaching methodology and were reaching much wider audiences than they had ever planned. Grant was invited to speak with industry heavy weights in Amsterdam and had become a favorite of the British Press, James had attracted a production company who were busy filming a reality TV pilot and by early 2009 they had coached men in 10 countries; everyone from miners in Perth, Millionaire CEO’s through to a Lithuanian student named Mindaugas (James’s favourite client). The Natural was starting to get the global reputation it deserved.

But, like any great empire as it grows it becomes harder to manage. And like any great partnership, eventually personalities begin to clash, personal visions change and paths diverge. And in order to keep on growing, often the empires need to split: the Byzantine and west Roman empires, the Mongol Golden Horde and the Ilkhanate, Simon and Garfunkle, The Spice girls and so on….

Grant and James had pulled each other from their lives of hedonistic dallying and had built a truly unique organization that offered men a realistic alternative to the stifling and frustrated lives they had been brought up to accept. With their creative, adventurous and unique style, they had demonstrated through the example of their own lives and the way they inspired hope and change in others that reality is forever malleable. That you really can live like a king in this world of chaos, boredom and material obsession, without needing a rolex or a mortgage. They had traveled the world over together, seduced ravishing beauties at every stop, laughed and cried, meditated, danced like lunatics to Pavaroti in their old undies, stood up in front of rooms full of men and enthralled the crowds with the humanity, humour and hope of the Natural way but finally it had to end.

Grant and James met once again in Prague for the second and final Euro tour they would do together. With Shae by their side to keep the peace and leading a Scottish Miner, a Polish magician, an eccentric millionaire, a hippy male model and an Australian English teacher once again they blazed through the wild east. Ten days later in Belgrade they stayed up late into the night at a café, serenaded by a Serbian gyspy band and drinking 70 proof silichnovick, laughing and crying at the days gone by, the maniacs and sirens they’d met and the amazing partnership they’d had. With one last toast to lifelong friendship, they called an end to the Natural and stumbled home.

What next for our heroes and their teams of sexual magicians and priestesses? That’s where things get really interesting…

Welcome to the long awaited Natural Lifestyles blog!

Based in Melbourne, Australia but teaching in over 10 countries The Natural Lifestyles is a world leader on natural seduction and complete lifestyle evolution. We teach unique programs in authentic, natural seduction covering all aspects of what it takes to become a sexy, positive and above all real ladies man.

From taking guys out into live social situations, coaching them in real time how to charm and seduce gorgeous women, to deep internal change work with our “Inner Game” programs, right through to complete style makeovers, classes on sensual massage, sexual mastery, physical and internal confidence; we work on all areas you need to improve to find (and keep) the partners of your dreams, whilst living the lifestyle you desire.

By definition TNL is a seduction company, i.e we exist within the worldwide industry that coaches men how to improve their love lives. With the success of mainstream exposure like Neil Straus’s The Game, the underground “Seduction Community” has become widespread and has turned into big business. Men from all over the world became passionately involved in these global networks of “Pick Up Artists” (PUA’s), drawn in by the promise of sexual abundance and choice that many previously thought was only possible for the rich and beautiful.

Suddenly shy nerdy types, high school outcasts and men of all stripes unsatisfied with their sexual lives flocked to the many seduction gurus that appeared to have all the answers. They did indeed have answers. The problem being that many of them were flawed answers, which didn’t provide the bigger picture on what really made one man sexy, attractive and confident over another. Still, countless men found faith and hope in these new seduction methods and dozens of copycat operators sprang up around the globe to fill the need for pick up coaching that suddenly appeared.

Out of the early days of the community came a series of innovators and progressive thinkers who gradually expanded on the initial rigid methods of scientifically calculated “game”, to incorporate the art and philosophy of effortless ladies men. They were known as Naturals.  It is at this point (several years ago) that our crew started teaching more free form, adaptable principle based seduction (as opposed to technique based i.e using lines and routines to project the persona of a seductively successful man) which allowed men to express their personality better, without needing to use someone else’s lines or pretend to be something they weren’t. 

Although we operate in this market and are well respected and included in it (For example I will be speaking this year at the world PUA Summit in Hollywood) The Natural Lifestyle vision and training programs have a far broader scope than pickup lines and tricks to get girls into bed. Much of the industry is unfortunately dominated by over hyped charlatans and incredibly well marketed corporations, churning students through one size fits all programs with outrageous price tags. Many of these “gurus” are far better at internet and partnership marketing than they are at being role models and good teachers and a healthy amount of skepticism is advised when first trying to navigate this fascinating sub-culture. 

Despite the snake oil salesmen, the focus of the industry has in recent years, gradually moved to more holistic lifestyle ideas as new thinkers come in and push the boundaries. For all its gimmicks, plastic personalities and mixed agendas, the seduction community is emerging as a revolutionary men’s movement that is changing old ideas about the battle of the sexes, what it means to be a successful man and how to get what you want out of life.

At TNL, we are at the forefront of this communities evolution but are not limited to it. Our training programs and ideas move out into a myriad of complimentary areas such as style, sexual mastery, spirituality, lifestyle design, goal actualization, life coaching, masculine/feminine social dynamics and much more.

In this blog and through our programs we intend to share our ideas on these universally important topics, to make sure that greater numbers of men are living boldly in truth and bringing fantastic experiences to the women they meet.  

You’ll receive regular updates by all the authors, with practical cutting edge info on all things seduction, style, internal change and lifestyle design.

I invite you to join our growing fraternity of amazing free thinking men and women, to bring about true happiness and connection to your life and the people you share it with

Peace,

James Marshall (CEO, Executive coach)