Here is a live 1-1 coaching session with a client, where I talk about how to improve his dates, create more sexual tension, and understanding the principles of conversation and flirting.

I hope your 2012 has launched and has you well on the way into bed with two leggy bombshells when the shit goes down December 23rd. TNL is set for an amazing year with shit loads of international adventure, the release of some cutting edge services and heaps of crazy videos and antics for the fans.

Here’s a new clip we just finished from a big day of day game pickup at the Melbourne Cup races.

I’ve always said daytime events with dress ups and alcohol are perfect places to blaze through heaps of generally warm sets. When girls are dressed up, they can flirt and play different roles than they might normally. It also brings out all sorts of types of girls. From this clip, we see aloof models, good time aussie bogans, corportae chicks and more in the one environment.

We dress up; me in a tailored suit and Liam in my old Velveteen 3 piece I had made in Vietnam for 70 bucks. In a place where the average guy is in a cheap hire suit and is stumbling drunkenly by 3pm, having some style and blitzes the competition.

Most of all, we have fun with it. We assume the girls will be friendly and are playful and relaxed. Liam gets away with some cheeky escalation which is hilarious to watch. Enjoy and feel free to meme spread the clip if ya like it!

Peace,

James

Last week I was in Sydney coaching a student, and he approached a sexy blonde girl at Bondi strip and playfully asked her to marry him.

(Google+”blonde bondi”)=

“Uhh, I can’t get married!” she muttered, and scurried off into a nearby shop.

He came back a bit dejected, told me what happened and said “Was that a shit test?”

(A ‘shit test’ is the idea that women will say things to test you to see how you respond, such as “I’m a lesbian” or “Will you buy me a drink?” )

I said to him “Are you fucking crazy? You seriously think that in the few seconds of that interaction, she had time to think-

‘Hmm, ok I’m not sure on this guy, I need to create a test for him to pass…I’ll tell him that I can’t get married and see how he responds to that!’

-No way! She was just nervous and didn’t know what was going on so she took the path of least resistance. Go approach her again and let her know you were just kidding, let her know you’re not crazy and get her number.”

He walked up to her, apologized for giving her a shock and explained he just wanted to talk to her. She relaxed and smiled, and they chatted for a few minutes before she gave him her number. What a turn around!

I was being harsh on him to get the message across and show him how blindly he was following a seduction rule, but I totally understood his mindset. I had been there myself for a long time. When I first heard about the idea of a shit-test, it blew my mind, and I started assuming that everything that a woman said from then on was a test. A concept that was supposed to show you that sometimes women will throw a conscious test your way to see how you respond morphed into a paranoia that everything that came out of a woman’s mouth was a test.

Part of the problem with this mindset is assuming that women are constantly cool, calm, collected and calculating about everything they do in social and seductive interactions. It creates a reality where they have no emotions, insecurities, or social tensions, and doesn’t account for these things affecting their behavior. Overanalyzing her actions and seeing them through this funnel blinds you to the reality that she is just another human like anyone! Taking this into account makes you realize that what you see as her ‘testing’ you might just be her being nervous. In specific situation of a bar it might be more prevalent, but generalizing it to all female behavior is a flawed mindset that makes them seem like robots.

Think of it from her point of view. She’s walking down the street, and suddenly an attractive guy surprises her out of nowhere with a confronting proposal. She was minding her own business thinking about what shop she’s going to, and suddenly she’s thrust into a flirtatious encounter that she wasn’t prepared for. She is a bit shocked, nervous, and unsure what how to respond, so she does the easiest thing: she ends the interaction to escape the awkward tension.

It doesn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to you. She’s probably kicking herself as she walks off, thinking “Damn! It’s hard enough being single, I’m sick of sleazy bars and online dating, and then as soon as a hot guy approaches me, I get nervous and brush him off. I’ll be single forever!”

I’ve had a friend do this: she was sitting at a café with her friends when a cute guy approached her and asked for her number. She got nervous and blurted out “I have a boyfriend!” After he left, her friends all looked at her quizzically. “Um, Bianca…you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I know! Why did I say that?! Damn, I just got nervous and didn’t know what to say! He was really sweet and cute and now I’ll never see him again…”

Her friend got up and ran after him, catching up with him 2 blocks away and said “Sorry about my friend she was just overwhelmed. Here is her number, call her!”

So the message is that while there may be certain scenarios when a girl will be consciously testing you, most of the time it’s not true. Assuming that women are constantly testing you puts the wrong spin on every interaction and gives you a warped perspective on their headspace. It makes you stuck in your head trying to ‘beat’ tests that only exist in your mind, instead of being in the moment and feeling her energy as the interaction flows. Most of the time, what you think of as a test is just her being nervous. She’s probably scared that you’re testing her! Focus more on getting her to relax and be comfortable around you.

Otherwise they feel like they have to study for a test too….

I’m not saying girls wont test you in certain situations… I’m saying that I’ve seen too many guys applying a rule that’s created about a specific situation to every single interaction they have with a woman.

It creates a paranoid headspace where you’re trying to beat tests that aren’t even there. A better mindset is ‘she is nervous that she’s talking to a hot guy, she can feel the sexual tension and she is trying to impress me.’

This is an interview I filmed with Carl, one of the students on last year’s Euro Tour on the last day in Croatia. Carl is a successful business man in his late 30′s, a really great guy with a fascinating life and varied interests. But he had perpetual problems with women and his internal confidence. He had many layers of defensive masks on and came across as ingenuine with women.

It was incredible to watch him change over the trip as he let go of the eager to please behaviours he had all his life and showed is unapologetic desire to women, who opened up with enthusiasm. An absolute pleasure to teach, Carl has some insightful words on his journey and success.

This Year’s Euro Tour, set for late May is already getting heaps of interest and I expect to sell it out soon after I publicly release it. In the mean time, check out all the info at www.theeurotour.com

Anyone interested in finding out more about how to join myself Sasha Daygame, John Cooper and a bunch of awesome guys for the trip of a lifetime, can express their interest on the Euro Tour website.

We’ve got plenty more clips from last year’s trip in the works so stay tuned for some juicy teasers..

There’s a lot of talk about inner game within the PUA community. Guys want to know how to be more confident and charismatic with women.  Then when you see them walking about town and interacting amongst fellow humans there is this dissassociation – like passing ships in the night.  I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine is the mentality OR I’ll wait until im in the bar or social environment before I turn on the charm and charisma.  I even hear guys say to me, “Why are you wasting your time talking to her man, she’s ugly”.  We are all guilty of being swept up in this illusion. You can either be one of these sheep, and a slave to the system or break free and start BEING the person you want to be, which means being like that with everyone.

Giving Unconditionally

Just as the video demonstrates, when you go into an interaction, you must think of your role as being one of giving unconditionally, not taking. If you can give with no expectation of reciprocity, that’s unconditional, and that is how it must be.  You have to clear your motives, foster a karmic attitide of “c’est la vie,” and give from a place of overflow. In other words, if we are a tree, we give from the fruits, not the seeds.

Law of attraction

We are constantly expressing an energetic vibrational version of ourselves all the time in the form of ‘vibes’. We often say things like “He or she has got a really good vibe about them”. These are magnetic vibrations creating our reality all the time. The fear and stress of society works against us, and we absorb that. We then give off the low vibrational state and we attract stressful, fearful states and energies towards us. If we hold onto anger then angry people come into our lives. If we play the victim role, the victim vibe goes out and the victim circumstance comes in. We attract to us people, places, opportunities, lack of opportunities, money, no money,  luck, bad luck, by our state of being – WE create it.  When we emit love , we create a very new reality  and we draw in a reflection of that. It’s just a choice.

Homework

Go out this week and each day show 10 random acts of kindness to strangers.  If you really understand what this is about, you will move from it being a one off exercise, to a way of being and that is when the true inner game alchemy begins.

I’m getting through the mass of footage we’ve taken this year and the crew is cutting up some rad clips for your pleasure. Here’s a set I did when in L.A for the PUA Summit. There’s a few things to look out for during this interaction.

The opener is assumptive and direct. I’m assuming she’s fascinating and showing her she’s fascinated me to come over. I also split the opener to allow for her first reaction while I lock in.

Then I ask a broad qualifying question. From there the conversation opens up and we fall into steady cheeky banter. My direct intent is shown through simple flirtation. I mention picking her up, starting a romance and although she verbally denies it, it’s clear she’s enjoying the process. It comes out she’s in a failing marriage but the subtext of a future invitation to pursue things is clear.

Enjoy.

This is a report ‘lazyboyy’ wrote on http://www.melbournelair.com/forum/index.php?topic=1199.0

It was after doing my Day of Mayhem workshop, which is just a daygame version of Night of Mayhem.

—-

This all happened as part of Liam’s social freedom coaching, which was thoroughly amazing.

Liam was getting us to just walk up to girls with messages typed on our phones. Mine said “hey your cute, wanna be my girlfriend”. So this brunette with gorgeous blue eyes walks past and Liam directs me to approach her, I show her the message with my phone outstretched she looks at it and seems startled.  Ordinarily I probably would’ve left it at that but due to the positive energy that was flowing through the session I struck up a conversation, starting with something direct (can’t remember exactly what I said).

Something along the lines of I thought she was gorgeous and wanted to meet her so I quickly typed that message. She called me out and was rather skeptical – which led me to believe she was interested I just had to justify that she was special – and could see Liam and the other 2 guys and cottoned on to the whole caper. I told her it was about social freedom and that I do a bit of acting and it’s a good exercise for that.

After finding out she was from Lithuania the convo turned to travel and I bantered with her about Europe and South America where I’ve been, where I’m going ecetera, with a cocky funny vibe, and I suppose some sexual intent too.

At one point she said “you just want to sleep with me” to which I replied “Yes I will sleep with you, then we will get married have 2 kids, but 2 years later we will get divorced.  You can keep the kids, I’ll get the mansion in Toorak and you can keep the BMW. But then when we’re 50 we’ll meet up and our love will rekindle, we will remarry and live happily ever after…like Romeo and Juliet” All while gazing into her eyes lovingly. She replied that she has a roommate called Juliet. Anyway.. Got her number buy taking her phone and calling myself then elicited a juicy big extended hug.
After my session with Liam finished I texted her and it went as follows (sorry if the formatting is messy but you get the idea):

Me:Hey what are you doing? Lazyboy
Her: I went back home to change, cause I have work 5.30 for few hours. You? Still looking for girls  :p
Me:I only look for girls between 2-4pm so lucky u were walking then . Aww that sux how long do u have to work for.

Her: you think im lucky? Haha. Mm for few hours only. Hopefully finish before 9 :p why
Me: You’re lucky coz you have an amazing guy to hang out with after work and u may even get a nice massage to make u feel relaxed and wonderful.

Her: mm, sounds promising

Me: How about I come to your place with a bottle of wine at 9.30. Do you prefer red or white?

Her: You cant I live in hostel … but I do like white

Me: White is my favourite too. Ok how about I pick you up at 9.30 I don’t live that far from the city and we can enjoy our white wine and ill look after that tension in your back.
Her: Is that a competition between u and ur friends who’s gonna sleep with more girls? Mm even though I liked your eyes so what should I do?! Lol
Me: How did u guess?? If I win I get $1 million dollars and u get multiple orgasms. Great now I can’t stop thinking about our naked bodies together..even tho I have is that amazing hug we shared

Her: Oh really? I’m going to work now…blah blah
Me :Ok have fun at work, whatever you do don’t think about me kissing your neck.

Her: What If I do think about you kissing my neck? Lol oh well see u later.

Ect. Ect.

So anyway I pick up a bottle of Pinot Grigio, pick her up at 10. Take her to Brighton beach to show her a nice view of the city. Take her to mine. We drink wine and show each other music we like on Youtube. Finish the bottle. Chat about how cool it was that we met, and how we could’ve easily missed each other…feels like we’ve known each other for ages ect. Then we spend the next few hours engaging in intercourse. Go out for breakfast, drop her off back in the city. And seeing her again on Wednesday.

Thanks for reading!

lazyboyy

—

This report is great because it shows how being direct with your intention and being confident in your sexuality pays off. It also shows that you can be flexible with how you meet and seduce women and don’t have to stick too closely to any particular style. In this case he was able to open a girl without talking at first and still lead to sex that night.

I love comparing my current sexual reality to where I was a few years ago. This story is something that is a regular and largely unspectacular occurrence to me now, but which would have blown my mind if I told my previous self what happened.

It was about 9.30 on a quiet Monday night and me and a friend were walking to a bar when we saw a blonde, mature woman wiggling her sexy ass down the street. She was a total MILF. I bid my friend farewell and ran after her.

“Hi” I said.

“Hi” she replied, trying to gauge why I was talking to her.

“You have a sexy walk.” I said sincerely.

Her face lit up, she smiled and said “Wow…thank you! That was very forward of you…”

“I’m a forward kind of person” I said honestly.

She was rolling a suitcase and asked me if I knew where the Hyatt hotel was. I told her I was pretty sure it was around the corner and that I’d walk her there. She smiled and told me that would be great. We have a very flirty and comfortable energy between us; the fact that we were both experienced meant we were relaxed in the situation. We kept strolling and she was still in a flattered and impressed state of shocked excitement. She said “You have totally made my day! My week even! A big gold star for you. Thank you so much!”

As we were crossing the road I said “Maybe I should just come to your hotel with you” while grinning mischievously.

She grinned seductively and paused to consider it. “Oh I would love that but I can’t…I just had a fight with my partner and so I’m changing hotels to go stay with a friend who’s also in town.”

“Ok, let’s just go get a drink together the. Just one” I said, thinking I could take her to a bathroom.

She grinned like crazy again and said “You are amazing! I love how forward you are! But I really can’t.”

“Ok let’s just stop and talk her for a minute then…” and leaned up against a low wall outside a park, pulling her in to embrace me.

She embraced me as my firm dick pressed against her. We stood there in silence like that for a while.

“We should kiss” I said slowly and seductively, while caressing her neck with my tongue.

Pretty much like this, if the guy was way younger, and it was night time:

This forwardness is a good example of knowing where traditional seduction rules don’t apply. I would never normally verbalize the kissing process but in this situation it was totally in context with how forward I was and took into account that she was older, more experienced and relaxed. We didn’t need to pretend like we both didn’t know what was going on, and it was sexy to her to see that I was relaxed enough to just say it like that. Her being boldly hit on bluntly by a younger man was a breath of fresh air and excitement for an older woman. The lesson to take from this is to be flexible depending on the situation.

We kissed passionately and she grinned at me, pressing herself against my boner while I was squeezing her ass.

“How good would it be to just go for one drink right now” I said, grinding myself against her. As I’m writing this I’m shocked at how normal it was for me to be pressing my hard cock against a woman I met less than 2 minutes ago in the street and openly suggesting we fuck, and her holding me, kissing me and seriously considering my proposal. I love the new reality I’ve created for myself!

We stood there on the ledge, embracing like lovers and talking about sex, me trying to get her to agree and her resisting but still staying with me and loving the validation and the energy we were creating. She kept raving about how amazing it was. “Seriously, big points for you for doing this, I’m impressed! This is great. I feel great. I love it!”

Then she said “Do you do this a lot? I hope you do. Do this to more women, they love this stuff! You would make so many women happy…”

“Is it validating to know you’re causing this?” I said, putting her hand on my boner.

“Mmmmm yeah I could feel that before…” she said, grasping at it, feeling it through my pants, pressing the tip between her fingers.

A few times I suggested going for a drink or getting a room and she’d look sheepishly at the ground, turning the idea over in her mind, then say “I can’t…but I want to…”

After about 5 minutes of talking and kissing while holding each other, she said “I really have to go…”

“I’ll walk you there then…”

We started walking through the park and there was a fountain with lights, and I said “This is so romantic, we have to stop here an kiss” so she put her bag down and we embraced and kissed again.

“We should just go in the bushes.. Over there.”

“No! We can’t!”

Remembering my bathroom handjob I said “Ok well… What if we just hug and have a happy ending…”

“No, no I really can’t…”

We kept embracing and I pulled down her top and started grabbing and sucking her tits. I felt her waist and stomach and was pleasantly surprised to find it flat and smooth. “Wow! Do you work out?”

“No! Everyone always tells me I have a good body though.”

“Wow and you’ve had two kids too! I guess that makes you a MILF!”

“Ha! HA! Wow. I can’t wait to tell my friends about this…”

We stood there embracing, kissing and dry fucking for a while longer till she decided she really had to go. As she was leaving she kept stressing how awesome it was that I hit on her.

“It’s so great! You were so forward but you weren’t weird or creepy about it…it’s really great. I hope you do this to more girls! Go do it to 10 more women please! The ladies of the world need it.”

It’s so cool that this is just another day in my life now. I’ve just made it part of my reality that I communicate with women on an honest, direct sexual wavelength and that it’s having a positive effect on everyone I interact with.

I contrast this with myself a few years ago when me kissing a girl was the biggest deal ever, I would tell all my friends about it, write long reports about it and it would dominate my headspace for weeks afterward.

Now it’s just an extension of the way I move through the universe. It feels natural for me to express my attraction to women physically. We shared a short romance and went on with our lives, charged up from the sexual energy and inspired to share those good feelings with other people, feeling positive about sex, dating and romance.

The more time I spend around beautiful women, the more I sympathise with the challenges they have to face. When I first entered the seduction community my worldview was “Hot women have the highest sexual selection power, therefore they must have the most fulfilling sexual and romantic lives. They have it the best!”

Of course there are many positive things that go hand in hand with being an attractive woman, I’m not going to bother listing them. But there are a whole host of other negative issues the many men are either unaware of, or dismiss out of bitterness or jealousy. Being able to relate to a beautiful woman’s reality and understand the things they have to put up with gives you a huge advantage on the seduction field purely because many men do NOT understand their reality…having an understanding and empathy for the world of a beautiful women is a big plus.

A recent example: a girl I’ve been seeing moved to Australia from Iran a few months ago. She recently got a job at a family run restaurant. The owner and manager has been extra kind to her, giving her lifts home from work, giving her leftover food to take home, and even paying her $100 extra ‘for her studies.’

He kept calling her ‘sister’ and saying that all Iranian brothers and sisters have to stick together. She saw him as a father figure and felt very grateful for his help in a new country, and felt comfortable in his presence, she even called her Mother to reassure her how well she was being looked after, until…

He says to her “So I’ve been going to this massage place, and I pay them $50 an hour…you need the money more than them…why don’t you just give me a massage instead?”

So now that throws all the extra attention he’d been giving her into perspective. She tried to play it cool and said “Oh no but I don’t know how” and he kept trying to convince her, soothingly saying “Come on sister, you need the money for your studies.” She felt very uncomfortable with this and made it clear her answer was no.

The next time she was at work he took her aside and said “Hey, sorry about the other day…I didn’t mean anything sexual by it, I don’t want you to think I’m sleazing onto you…”

Now, dear readers, does that sound like something that someone with innocent intentions would say? Of course not. His guilty conscience is driving him to try to take back his obvious attempt at initiating sexual touch between them.

He went on to say “I wish I had met you when I was 20…I have just been thinking about you, watching you walk around the restaurant and wishing that I was your age and I could marry you…but I am married now and I love my wife. I’m sorry.”

So the second part of his confession is proof that he WAS sleazing onto her. Making him both a sleaze and deceptive about his intentions.

On top of this, she has a whole host of guys who she’s met since she’s arrived who keep trying to play the ‘friend’ card to get close to her. They don’t show any interest in her romantically. They keep calling her and saying “I will help you find a job” or  ”I will help you with your studies!”

They think they are this:

When they actually come across like this:

Having someone offer you something with mixed intentions feels very unsettling. Imagine if someone came up to you on the street and said “Here, want $100? Take it!” how would you feel? Think about this seriously: they have no obvious motive for wanting to help you, so you suspect something weird is going on. It’s a very awkward position to be put in.

So that’s just the tip of the iceberg, a day in the life of an attractive female. Sure it’s attention, but it’s not the kind of attention she would want. Would you enjoy having to put up with these kind of awkward situations on a regular basis? What about every time you leave the house?

For a hot woman, meeting a man who will just act normally around her, treat her like anyone else, and not try to hide his attraction toward her can be an immensely refreshing and rewarding experience.